Friday, March 27, 2009

Twilight Movie Review

This blog is going to smell a little bit like shame. I am a Twilight fan. I absolutely adore the Twilight Saga-esp Midnight Sun, which hasn't even been finished yet. Stephanie Meyers is a talented author, whose ability to transport me from my living room in Victorville CA to the rain soaked forest of Forks WA is pure genius. I wonder if I would have picked up my first Twilight book (I own 2 copies) if I would have foreseen (Ha ha, Alice "I have foreseen") the fact that it would be a "pop-culture phenomenon", and that my local Hot Topic would have 3-4 aisles of their already small and crammed store dedicated to all things Twilight. Would I have read all 4 of the books in one weeks time if I would have known that a "Team Edward" and a "Team Jacob" would be formed? Perhaps the dishes wouldn't have piled up in the evening time, while I sat perched on the couch, struggling to keep my eyes open through one more chapter-if I had been able to predict that the movie version would be a huge embarrassing representation of SM's literary masterpiece?

I went to the midnight showing on opening night. I stood in line with hundreds of other people, mostly under the age of 18, with their "Team Edward" sweatshirts, and their "I *heart* boys who sparkle" T-shirts. I oohed and aahed when Dr. Carlisle Cullen came onto screen. I cringed when James viciously snapped Bella's leg in half. I teared up as Bella and Edward danced check to check at prom. I admit-it drew me in...initially.

A few weeks after opening night, I went to the mall and I saw it again. I was alone this time, in a near empty theater...and was able to view the movie with a little more clarity. I walked away, pretty disappointed about the lacking content, the added plot lines, and a tad incredulous that it was done so poorly and cheaply. When I consider how mass-marketed this movie is, the fact that the vision was to be an "indie" movie is insulting. As if I had any entitlement to that insult. I sobered up, the love for the books still burning in my heart. I chose not to go see the movie version of Inkheart, not desiring for my heart to be broken again, in the same way, so soon. I refused to pre-order the DVD, or stand in line for the midnight release parties at my local Hot Topic or *shudder* Wal-Mart. I did scour the city one night, looking for a copy to rent-for $1. Providence answered this past week, when I found one copy left at the Red Box in Vons. I watched it late last night, and again this afternoon...and after much are my critics and a spare praise or two.

1) Casting Kirsten Stewert as Bella is, by far, the fatal flaw. In the book, Bella is an intelligent, independent, albeit clumsy, and reserved girl. In the movie, Bella is a girl who cannot form a complete sentence. She stammers and stutters. Long pauses and sighs are NOT the way shyness plays out on screen. I understand that Bella is *dazzled*. However, this girl cannot act, and a HUGE portion of the magic is lost between Bella and Edward, due to her complete inability to deliver a line with any speck of talent or charisma.
2)Now, I will admit that I don't think Rob Pattinson did the best portrayal of Edward. He did infinitely better than KS, but then again, is that saying very much? His posture throughout the movie is more hulking menace than broody vampire.
3) The extra plot line of James, Victoria and Laurent killing the townsfolk is 100% unnecessary. Lame, cheesy, and took time away from some of the wonderful conversations that were held in the book.
4) Spider-monkey? Butt crack Santa? For reals? This angst-driven story is mucked up by such crassness. I cannot fathom that 19th century Edward would ever udder the words "Spider monkey." Disgraceful.
5) Along the same lines, and perhaps this is my hatred for Rosalie coming out (not Nikki Reed, she did a fantastic job with her character)...Monkey Man? Strong, handsome, flat-out intimidating Emmett? A monkey man?
6)Bella climbs around in the top of a tree unassisted? Um, Bella? The girl who can't dance in the scene just before this one? Puh-leaze.
7)I do understand that there was a need to condense the dialogue in the transition from page to screen. HOWEVER, there were some very pivotal and or memorable lines in the book that did not make the crossover, and I feel that was a great injustice. They saw fit to include "The lion fell in love with the lamb..." but not "Never mind, then, I can see that it's impossible...." or "It didn't work out, okay? I really, really hate Forks!" Attention to details, folks...I promise, it's not difficult.
8)I have a hard time believing that Victoria was at Prom so the beginning we see her from the back, playing one of the games...could she really withstand ALL that human blood in the room? I mean, Jasper has a hard enough time...and he's a "vegetarian!" The only possible allowance for her being there, is that being without James, and wanting revenge on Bella takes her focus off her thirst...but then again, why wouldn't she have taken Bella right there? If there's going to be a portrayal in the movie...let's think it through, eh? Everyone already knows that Victoria is still least those who have continued through with New Moon. To those who just watched the movie, I'm sorry, but let's not throw all logic out the window just so you can have a little of hint of what's to come.

I close with two thoughts-one...I am ashamed. I feel empty and hollow inside just by writing this. I pray those of who read this won't judge me! Second, I get that it's just a movie, and believe me, I don't place all that much stock in it. I love the spell-binding aspect of books, not movies. I'm a purist who fell off the wagon...willing to drink fine scotch but not stale beer.

A Free Psychic Rteading...just for me! Wowzers!

So, I got sent a free "psychic" reading by some lady in Victorville on's what it had to say...First of all you like to help a lot of people but when you need a little bit of help, not too many people are really there to help you. But you are very high tempered at times, you are not high tempered for long, only for a few minutes. You’re the kind of woman if you like a person you talk to them, if you don’t like them you don’t like nothing to do with them. But you never like to talk behind anyone’s back, most of the time what you have to tell them you tell them right to their face. You were born to be very lucky, you were born to be very happy, but lately a few things are not really working out the way you really want them to. You are very hard headed at times and very independent too. Once you put your mind to do something you like to go right ahead and do it. But lately you’ve been able to begin things but not really able to complete them the way you really want to.You look very happy, very satisfied in your face. When you feel hurt, disappointed, or upset about something you keep too many things to yourself. You have never been a follower in the past. You’ve always been more of a leader, But for the past two years you don’t even know what you are leading. In front of friends or family, you keep a very big smile on your face. But honestly that smile hasn’t been real for a long time. Hard money comes in a little too bit fast too easily money goes away from you. But money never has been that important to you. Happiness has always been very important to you. You are either not too happy with where you are living right now or not too happy with some kind of work around you.There is something you would like to change, but lately you have not been able to. It seems like every time you try to move ahead obstacles come in the way.I also believe that in love, the first person that you really did love and care for, things did not work out like you wanted them to. But you do have someone that you really love now, someone you really care for. A lot of times you feel he cares for, and other times you are not even sure. He does care for you a lot. But he is more hardheaded than you are. At the beginning he was really opening up to you. But now I feel that he is pulling away. He does care, but something is wrong.

A Day in the Life...

6:52am-Awakened by Dakota, who had a fever and a headache throughout the night and is now whining (not be insensitive, but really, there’s no other word to describe her) about how she “can’t get the boogers out of her one nose.” I get up, pry dry crusty boogers from the aforementioned nose, administer another dose of Children’s Motrin, give her a drink of water, and we both go back to bed.

7:15am-9:45-I have very vivid dreams where I am doing things that I probably should be doing to keep myself and my marriage alive…but when I wake up, I realize oh crap, just a dream. Make a mental note to try to incorporate these things into my life ASAP.

9:45-Wake up to start the day. Answer Marke’s questions as to where the clean clothes are located (in the dryer, laundry day did not get completed as planned yesterday.) Sit down at counter with a Coke Zero and start to revise the list for the day…Marke leaves to go guitar shopping with our pastor.

10:00am-Kids start waking up and asking about breakfast. I still can’t fathom that these children want to shove food into their mouths mere minutes after waking up. They’re even more efficient than I am. Breakfast consists of muffins, ½ banana, and a glass of milk each Everyone asks for seconds, except for Montana…who later throws herself on the ground once she learns that the others got more and she didn’t.

10:15 am-I wolf down 3 girl scout cookies. Apparently, my diet is going straight to hell today. I also eat 2 bowls of Cocoa Puffs. And now you know why I’m chubby.

10:45 am-Montana starts asking for M&M’s and indicating that she needs to go potty. We run to the bathroom, Montana pees, we cheer, Uncle Joe gives Tana an M&M. Bradyn sees this exchange and decides he wants to go as well. Once seated on the toilet, he freaks out, tells me “No potty” and then goes into the kitchen to await his M&M. Once he figures out that he’s not getting one, he morphs into his usual grumpapotamus self. Yes, we reward with food...I’m chubby and it works for me, why not the kids?

11:00am-I’m feeling far too lazy to start cleaning the kitchen, which is what I had planned to do after breakfast, so I decide to balance the checkbook and pay bills. Get online, have ½ dozen tabs open, 2 computers going…and finally get it done. We started using Quicken Online to keep track of our spending-setting goals for things such as eating out, groceries, buying household items, etc. I’m really happy with the way it’s going-even if we have exceeded our goal of eating out by $200 and something odd dollars. For as “domesticated” as I’ve become-I sure do hate to cook all the dang time. Also, got the rent check written out and ready to mail. Oh, and I also organized my underwear drawer...

12:00pm-Take Montana to the bathroom one more time (pee, cheer, M&M), watch parts of a Goofy Movie, discuss a possible surprise for Marke, snuggle with Dakota on the couch (who reports feeling much better), print out a recipe for lunch. Uncle Joe also threatens to bury the kids in a hole in the backyard-which the kids think is funny-‘til he actually starts carrying them outside one by one. Much freaking out ensues.

12:30pm-Make hamburgers for lunch, realize that the onion straws I wanted to make for a side dish take an hour to soak in buttermilk (which I don’t have) and decide that I’ll start them and finish making them later, since they’re for Marke anyway. Also, I almost went blind while cutting the onions-anybody have any tips that actually work? Have kids clean up toys and blankets that are strewn about the house. Everyone eats lunch, argues about who has what flavor yogurt…and I get after them about 50 times to eat and be quiet. Realize that Montana has given her hamburger to Jackson on the sly…she gets in trouble…etc.

1:15pm-Figure out that I only have about 2 hours to wash all the dishes (which, by the way, are stacked precariously all over the counters and in the sink), wash the counters, the kids table, sweep and mop the floor, and vacuum the living room and entry way. Also, need to get the kids dressed for church before their nap…and also come up with some sort of dinner-Cheese Roll Ups, anyone? Yet, here I sit, writing this blog entry-I’m trying to squash my OCD tendencies and anxiety problems by just not doing anything. Seems to work for about 5 minutes at a time…

1:30 pm-Take Montana to the bathroom again, start to wash dishes. Bully Uncle Joe into vacuuming the room…which he promptly forgets about doing and I get it done instead.

2:15pm- Finish washing almost all the dishes-the ones that are still in the dishwasher will have to wait ‘til another day. Side note: Joe did try to help with the dishes about a week ago, by loading the dishwasher. However, we no longer use it since it likes to recycle the dirty water over and over again.

2:30pm-Vacuum living room and entry way…also vacuum kitchen floor, because I hate to sweep.
2:45pm-Get kids dressed for church. Sounds really simple right? Of course, we must take into account that I literally have to dive into the pile of CLEAN clothes that are piled in baskets and are overflowing onto the GARAGE floor. I have to wade through all that madness to find some sort of acceptable clothing for the children to wear. Also, keep in mind that I must remind Jackson every day to 1) Hurry up, the kid can take 10 minutes to change his underwear 2) put the tag in the back 3) put shoes on the right feet. Take Montana to the bathroom (pee, cheer, M&M.)

3:00pm-Praise the Lawd, it’s naptime for the kids. Recite to the children ½ dozen times to “get in your beds, cover up, go to sleep, no getting up, I love you, when we wake up we’re going to church.” Tuck each child in, shut doors; turn on fan for white noise. Fry up onion straws for Marke, while watching Anchorman. I get distracted by text messages, and subsequently end up burning over ½ the batch. Taste the straws, declare new recipe a success.

3:30pm-Take shower-nothing notable here, except that Marke came home during this time, we talked about how the job fair went, he made a decision to go get his drug test over and done with…

3:45pm-After halfheartedly getting ready, I begin finishing up my 5 minute teaching that I have to do for tonight’s PIT class.

4:00pm-Realize that what I’ve written is mostly crap, and start re-writing a good majority of the teaching.

4:45pm-I can’t focus any longer, so I get up to finish getting ready for church.

5:00pm-Dakota wakes up, starts helping me get all the kids shoes out, pack up the diaper bag, etc. I finish up my teaching, print it out, time myself a few times reading it…I also gather up everything that I need to take to church tonight, talk with Marke for a few minutes, clean up the rest of the kitchen…

5:15pm-Get kids up, change diapers, put shoes and jackets on…

5:30pm-Children start piling themselves into the van, I load the van up with everything I have to bring (returned crock pots, hand me down shoes, returned sweaters, cleaning supplies, lessons, etc.)

5:45pm-Utterly predictable, we stop at Taco Bell for dinner. 4 cheese roll-up’s, 1 med Mountain Dew Baja Blast (for Joe), 1 small Pepsi, 2 Cheesy Beef Burritos (again, for Joe) and a Grande Steak Quesadilla, which changed my life.

6:00pm-Arrive at church….

8:30pm-PIT class, listen to other people’s teachings…take notes…

10:00pm-Convince PL that I should get to go next, sliding in before Marke, whose teaching will have to be pushed ‘til next week. Too bad, so sad…

10:00pm-Blah, blah, blah…wow, this is harder than I thought it would be.

10:30pm-Talk, talk, and talk some more after PIT with PL, Cathi, and various and sundry people. Jackson and Bradyn almost knock down the podium on which PL’s laptop sits…people at Horizon witness a miracle: I ran, to save a computer.

11:55pm-Leave church, stop at Taco Bell (again!), get home, get all kids tucked into bed after they eat some cinnamon twists…

12:30pm-Sweet sweet dreams….

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

So Proud...

Ok, one of my dreams is to author a cookbook. Not compile a bunch of recipes created by others-an actual cookbook of recipes that I have written...such an exciting dream, eh? Anyway, I talked with Marke about this back in September and I'm proud of announce I've created my first one! It's a cookie recipe, and I've been working on it for quite awhile-figuring out what works, what doesn't...etc, etc. So, here ya go...if you're a baker-make 'em and let me know what you think!

1/2 cup butter (salted), at room temperture
1/2 cup white granulated sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar (firmly packed)
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1 egg
1 tsp. PURE almond extract (splurge, it's worth it!)
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup wheat flour
1 cup rolled oats (any style oatmeal will work)
1/2 cup flaked sweetened coconut
1 cup chopped dried fruit (cranberries, peaches, apricots, get the idea)
1 cup white chocolate chips

1. In a medium mixing bowl, beat the butter with an electric mixer (or you can use a stand mixer with the paddle attachment) for 30 seconds. Add the sugars, baking powder, baking soda; beat until combined. Beat in the egg and the almond extract. Add flour, mix until combined. Mix in oatmeal, coconut, and dried fruit. Fold in white chocolate chips.
2. Drop dough by a rounded teaspoon 2 inches apart on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper.
3. Bake cookies in a 375 degree oven for 8-10 minutes, until very light brown. Remove from oven, let cool on sheet for a few minutes, then transfer to a wire rack (note: I don't own a wire rack, I've never used one and my cookies turn out fine. I just lay 'em out on the counter, or on a piece of foil)

Recipe yields 2 dozen cookies-but I make them large. If you use an actual rounded teaspoon, you're bound to get more!


I've made this cookies really big before and added more oatmeal for a thicker dough-resulting in more of a granola bar style cookie. I used to send them in Marke's lunch for a quick breakfast or snack, since they're not overly sweet.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

100 Things...

Inspired by Pastor Ryan and the movie The Bucket is a list of 100 things that I want to accomplish in my lifetime (might not think of them all right now) and at least 10 that I want to accomplish in 2009. Wanna make a list with me?


  • Read the Bible cover to cover
  • Read 100 books
  • Lose 20-30 pounds, the healthy way
  • Pay off all but one credit card
  • Work with "To write love on her arms" in some capacity
  • Host 6-10 Extreme Tour events
  • Have an operating "Open Door" policy at my house. Anybody in need, anytime.
  • Fast for 1 day
  • Go beyond the Horizon Church walls-grass roots ministry
  • Start a Children's Worship Ministry at Horizon
  • Homeschool Dakota for Kindergarten

In General:

  • Travel to Italy
  • Travel to England
  • Travel to Ireland
  • Go backpacking in another country for at least a few days
  • Take a backpacking trip at least once a year
  • Start drinking beer (so I can enjoy it with Marke, instead of making faces)
  • Read every work of Shakespeare
  • Learn to play a musical instrument
  • Have a thriving garden
  • Work in a bakery
  • Author a cookbook
  • Have a "pro" kitchen
  • Give my children the best education I can, whether that's through me or someone else
  • Take a formal dance class
  • Have one year of buying nothing new
  • Give without setting limits
  • Finish my tattoos (2 full sleeves, 1 side/rib tattoo, around my hips, and back/side of neck)
  • Run/walk a marathon
  • Go snowboarding
  • Teach a yoga class
  • Teach a cooking class
  • Give away my stuff
  • Raise loving children
  • Be married for 50+ years
  • See my Dad, Mom, sister and brother come to Christ
  • Type 60 words a minute
  • Climb Mt. Baldy w Marke
  • Speak fluent Spanish
  • Learn to swim well
  • Visit New York
  • Visit Chicago
  • Visit Seattle
  • Learn to fence
  • Become proficient in the use of a firearm
  • Become familiar with classical compositions

That's all I can think of for now-that's exhausting!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Laughing Wild

While talking to my pastor's wife earlier this evening, I was reminded of my time spent in drama class in high school...I decided to look up the monologue I performed. Since I'm too lazy and/or cheap to buy the entire script, I found the single monologue online and here it is! (Ahem, the following does contain strong language)

Woman: I want to talk to you about life. It’s just too difficult to be alive, isn’t it, and try to function? There are all these people to deal with. I tried to buy a can of tuna fish in the supermarket, and there was this person standing right in front of where I wanted to reach out to get the tuna fish, and I waited a while, to see if they’d move, and they didn’t—they were looking at tuna fish too, but they were taking a real long time on it, reading the ingredients on each can like they were a book, a pretty boring book if you ask me, but nobody has; so I waited a long while, and they didn’t move, and I couldn’t get to the tuna fish cans; and I thought about asking them to move, but then they seemed so stupid not to have sensed that I needed to get by them that I had this awful fear that it would do no good, no good at all, to ask them, they’d probably say something like, “We’ll move when we’re goddam ready you nagging bitch” and then what would I do? And so then I started to cry out of frustration, quietly, so as not to disturb anyone, and still, even though I was softly sobbing, this stupid person didn’t grasp that I needed to get by them, and so I reached over with my fist, and I brought it down real hard on his head and screamed: “Would you kindly move asshole!!!”And the person fell to the ground, and looked totally startled, and some child nearby started to cry, and I was still crying, and I couldn’t imagine making use of the tuna fish now anyway, and so I shouted at the child to stop crying—I mean, it was drawing too much attention to me—and I ran out of the supermarket, and I thought, I’ll take a taxi to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, I need to be surrounded with culture right now, not tuna fish.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

CannonBall Read

UPDATED 03/27/2009 The challenge: 100 Books in One Year. There are some rules, books have to be at least 200 pages, no short stories (unless longer than 6 stories) etc. Who's with me?

New Moon
Breaking Dawn
The Host
The Shack
The Flying Troutmans
Marked, a House of Night novel
Angels on Sunset Boulevard
The Tale of Despereaux
I am the Messenger
Redeeming Love-a modern day story of Hosea
Recent Updates:Midnight Sun (Yeah, I know it's not completed yet...but I read it, I don't know when it'll be finished, it was 237 pages, it counts-deal with it!)
A Woman of Worship, a study through the book of Psalms
The Glass Castle
The Hiding Place (blog to come about what God had for me in that...)
Starting: InkDeath

19 down, 81 to go...7 months to go...That's only 11 books a month! pffft...